“…do not worry beforehand about what you are to say. But say whatever will be given to you at that hour. For it will not be you who are speaking but the Holy Spirit.” – Mark 13:11
Every time, I forget that I have made this commitment to share a Praise Report. Every time, I sit in silence and wait to be given what I am to share. Every time, I have to remind myself not to worry about what I will say. Every time, God has to remind me that my commitment is just to be His pencil.
This time, He reminded me of this work of mine and how I am to accomplish it through one of my children. She said as we walked, “Sometimes, I connect my mind to Jesus and then just write down His words.”
Connecting your mind to Jesus often requires that we first disconnect it from everything else. Boy, has that been my struggle lately. This particular season for me has been one of constantly trying to filter to what or whom I connect, what I accept and what I reject. It’s like a constant discernment, and it is freaking exhausting. Even discernment about when to speak up and when to shut up. Lately, I have been called to listen and observe, but not necessarily to speak up. He either has not revealed to me yet what I am to say, or I have my fingers in my ears trying to block out His voice.
That may sound like a horrible confession, but it’s an honest one. Because I know if I clearly hear and understand His will, I will have to do something about it. Quite frankly, at this moment, He will have to use a two by four to get me going, hopefully, sprinkled with lots of humor and gentle prodding. I respond well to humor; He really has spoiled me in that way. I am just so battle weary as of late. Are you? I can’t be alone in this. I pray for the grace of perseverance for all His laborers.
Every time, I am grateful that I am not God, and that He is! I waver and forget; He is constant and all-knowing! I am tired and stubborn; He is not. What a great and mighty God He is!
He is Wonderful, Mighty God, King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He is Counselor, The Way, The Truth and The Life. He sustains us, encourages us, reminds us. He loves us, convicts us, forgives us.
Thank You God for who You are and all that You do. Thank You for Your Love. Thank You for Your Mercy. Thank You for Your example and teachings. Thank You for Easter and all Holy Days that grant us the opportunity to reflect on the many mysteries of our Faith.
God, I am so sorry that I worry. I am sorry when I fail to remember who You are and who I am in You. I am sorry when I lose my patience. I am sorry when I forget. I am sorry when I live in fear. I am sorry when I waver. I am sorry when I fail to be who You have asked me to be and when I fail to do what You have asked me to do. Lord, God Almighty, forgive me.
He is so patient with me and knows I am a slow learner. He knows that this creation of His has some serious flaws and can be oh so human. He knows I need to be reminded over and over again of things He has already revealed to me. He knows me and loves me, and I am sure I am a constant source of entertainment, the same way a young child can be to his parents when they attempt to express in their own vocabulary how they hear God’s still small voice. I am so grateful He allowed the conversation with my child to happen, and He could remind me of what I already know so gently- at least this time.
I am praying for so much these days. I know you all are too. We are in battle together. We are not alone. The Church Triumphant and the Church Suffering are with us too. I pray that we are all gifted this Easter season with renewed strength and perseverance. I pray that God will continue to remind us of all He has taught us and find new and gentle ways of doing so. I pray that we can continue to encourage each other as we soldier onward toward our Heavenly home. I pray that we all remember to be God’s pencil and accomplish His Holy will even when we are stubborn and amuse Him with our natural human resistance.
I pray that I have listened well and that this praise report has accomplished God’s will this time. Don’t forget to do your part in the battle, even if it’s as simple as connecting your mind to Jesus! (Simple is not always easy).