Praise be Jesus Christ! Praise be His Holy and healing Name! Praise be God the Father! Praise be God the Holy Spirit! Praise be to the Three in One!
Thank You, God, for all thy benefits. Thank You for visits and extended family. Thank You for the Body of Christ. Thank You for Advent and a time of preparation. Thank You for disciplining those You love. Thank You for all that is good, beautiful, and holy – especially the Cross.
Forgive me, Father, for my failure to love You and to love others as You have called me to do. Forgive me for the constant forgetfulness of the fact that You are God and I am not! Forgive me, Father, for my lack of gratitude. Forgive me for my short – sightedness. Forgive me for my general selfishness and self-centeredness.
Have you ever reacted to someone or someplace or some situation with such snootiness or general crankiness – you know that just “rubs you the wrong way”? Have you ever asked yourself, “What is my problem?” Holidays and family gatherings offer lots of opportunities to encounter such people, places, or situations that will bring out old ways or habits of thinking and responding. These lead to, hopefully, some self reflection as to what might be causing such reactions or feelings, and may lead to the question, “What is my problem?” This last holiday had me not just ask myself that question, but ask God.
We just returned from a wonderful visit back home with opportunities to spend time and catch up with family and friends. Old hang outs, old friends, places of our past can bring up lots of memories and feelings, but also our old habits and reactions. I was very thankful to be back home, and to visit many relatives I am not able to see often. I was even able to visit the gravesite of my grandparents with my children and get to tell a few stories and answer questions.
It was beautiful, but there were moments of falling back into old habits of which I am not particularly proud. I know this is quite a natural phenomenon, but God has called us to the “supernatural”, for walking with Him transforms us. So, I asked God one of the scariest questions I have ever asked, “What’s my problem?” “What is it about this place, person, situation that causes me to forget all the graces You have granted me to grow with You as my guide?”
I will admit that I have not sat and listened for the answer with much enthusiasm! I mean – do we really want to know our faults? And if we do want to know them, what are we going to be called to do to change them? And are we willing to die to self over and over again to continue to grow and be transformed by the God who convicts us of the changes we need to make to be more Christ-like? Change requires work, and I am so weary and stubborn!
Thankfully, God is merciful, patient, and kind – a good good Father. He also knows I am a slow learner! I trust that when He does reveal to me what my problem is, that He will allow me to react in my normally reactive way. While I throw a fit, like the Catholic toddler that I am, He will smile and shake His head knowing that I really do want to change, and I will eventually submit to His promptings to continue to grow. I really do think He giggles at me like parents who watch their toddler, with love and trust that eventually, the toddler will overcome whatever obstacle has prompted such a reaction.
I am guessing that now will be a time for listening and preparing for when God reveals to me how I can prepare my heart once more for Him by continuing to grow and change and be transformed more and more into images like Him. I pray that I can submit to His promptings with grace and immediate obedience.
Have you asked the Lord to reveal anything to you recently? How did you react when He revealed how He has asked you to change? Toddlers, like me, learn best when those around us model the behaviors and reactions we strive to learn. Maybe you can be that model for me and others? If not, maybe you can make someone feel they are not alone, and we can grow and be transformed together!
Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash
